Sometimes, you even hope for release from suffering, even if it means an end to life.
Extreme ill health in my family as well as the doom and gloom in world politics have been weighing on me, especially as they coincide with writing a book filled with hope– the fluffy kind, where we laugh a mile a minute, everything is seen through rose-tinted glasses, and nobody dies.
To drain away my anxiety (and conflicted grief in anticipation), I’m trying to watch shows and read books that make me cry.
This isn’t the only way I’m trying to find hope in darkness, however. Here’s what has helped me in the last few weeks.
Switching off social media: This takes the pressure off having to respond to comments, or even reveal that I’m in some distress. For some people, venting on social media is helpful. For me, staying away from it has been therapeutic, especially because I feel like I need silence to fill up the well before I can talk.
Focusing on others: I’m trying to keep busy with volunteering opportunities, and helping others where possible. Taking the focus away from me is letting me find a measure of calm and light.
Sticking to the Here and Now: Focusing on my breath, and on the many, not inconsiderable blessings in my life helps.
Joy in the moment, in the song of the daily visitor to my balcony, for instance. The sunbird on my moringa tree declaiming in rising, staccato bursts, gives me hope. It’s a fragile, authoritative and happy call at the same time. Its song remains the same: on sunny days, and on oppressive hours of gloom like today—a reminder that life goes on, will go on with or without us. This bright little yellow bird’s decibel level is all out of proportion with its small body, and that gives me faith.
My Amazon-bestselling literary crime novels, The Blue Bar and The Blue Monsoon are on Kindle Unlimited now. Add to Goodreads or snag a copy to make my day ! And if you’d like to read a book outside the series, you can check out You Beneath Your Skin. Find all info about my books on my Amazon page or Linktree.
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Hi Damyanti – I do hope healing follows on – difficult times seem to prevail – but the light does come … with thoughts – Hilary
Sending healing energy to you and those in your family who are ill. Spending time in nature and bird-watching from my window always helps. I do a gratitude meditation first thing in the morning and before going to sleep. And physical exercise 6 days a week is also helpful.
My only social media is blogging here. (I tried some of the others but there was just too much negativity, superficiality and untruths.)
I try to find something to be thankful each day, even if it is only that I am alive.
Yes, gratitude is such a good practice to have. Even when it’s difficult, I try to look for the bright spots in the midst of the darkness.
I am curious about the book you are working on. Sounds so different from your previous ones. I choose only one social media platform each day for a limited time. Devised it after doing enough peek-a-boo with it.
Yes, it’s taken a vastly different direction and I’m relishing the challenge. Fingers crossed it turns out to be the best possible version of itself, despite the hurdles along the way. I applaud your approach to social media. Bouncing from one platform to another feels like being stuck in a time loop.
Thanks for sharing, Damyanti. So much beauty in the world to find in spite of the ugliness. I see a higher power behind that beauty and know there is something positive beyond what we can presently see and that feeds my hope.
That’s such a wonderful perspective and vision to have, Ian. Thank you for spreading positivity and helping to build my hope, too.
Great list. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for stopping by!
It’s summer here and each time I walk past a neighbour’s place, her magnificent sunflowers greet me. These golden plants lift my heart and again I’m reminded that there is joy and beauty in the world, juxtaposed with all the cruelty and madness. We need to pivot to these small moments when the toughness of life overwhelms, and that can be a daily challenge. Hang in there!
Thank you for putting that beautiful image in my mind. I can imagine what an incredible sight that must be! Finding beauty and joy in the smallest things is the best way to approach life, especially when times feel hopeless. I need a reminder of that every so often.
Laughter provides light on the dark, but there is so much wrong with my country right now that it’s a bit hard. I hope your suffering family member improves and throws off the ravages of dis-ease; I have the same hope for the U.S.
I’m so sorry you’re struggling, Pam. Sending you all the positivity and hope I can muster, and praying that the road gets easier.
Such a sad and stressful time for you! Social media can be a welcome distraction, as long as you avoid vitriolic subjects. My favourite stress-relieving tactics include listening to music or watching something escapist on TV. Anything that takes you away from the reality of the situation you’re facing. Communing with nature is a wonderful coping mechanism, too, and you have the advantage of warm weather year round! 🙂 Helping others is an admirable way to help yourself as well. Deep breath, one day a time! 🌹
Thank you, Debbie! Social media is definitely a distraction, just not all that welcome for me these days. It’s the endless scrolling which gets me. Your stress-relieving tactics are right up my alley! I hate to admit I haven’t watched many movies recently, but nice music, some literary escapism, and time in nature is always appreciated. I so appreciate you taking the time to share such a lovely comment.
hope cope
four letters
ruin mine fine
mist kiss
and such woe
we this do know
A lovely poem!
perhaps
I cultivate my social media feeds as much as possible, using lists, so I can avoid the overwhelming main stream. But mostly I only dip my toe in. I also read a favourite book or film. Some familiar and comforting groove I can relax my mind into
It sounds like you’ve found the perfect balance. Using social media to feed your interests and getting the most out of it, while never venturing too far into the maze.
I think the most negative aspect of social media is the toxicity. It is not toxic everywhere though. There are a lot of people who love being toxic, spreading rumors and false claims, attacking those who disagree or attacking those checking facts, making division worse, etc. Some don’t realize how toxic they are, or that what they are saying is BS. I think the best solution is to stay away from that while not necessarily quitting social media.
And the thing is, that toxicity is so infectious. It seeps out of the screen and clogs up bits of the mind which could otherwise be dedicated to doing more positive or productive things. Toxicity breeds chaos and angst, much of which is disguised as useful or newsworthy information, advice, etc. Like you say, rumors and false claims run wild. Your solution provides a good compromise — I think balance is the best way to cope with social media’s side effects.
I remain silent and prefer solitude to observe what can’t be controlled if it makes any sense? Sometimes answer pops out of nowhere but most of the times learn to outgrow or cement the expectations.
That makes complete sense. Nowadays, everything feels so loud and fast. The days go by in a blur, with barely any time to breathe. In the rare moments when I can slow down, I realize just how much I appreciate silence. I guess that’s where the yoga and meditation come into play!
In the natural world – despite knowing it is in jeopardy.
Thank you for sharing!
We have to release our need to control things we can’t…
Trying to control everything is something I struggle with most. Thank you for the reminder.
It’s a hard struggle, I have found that it’s best to realise we don’t have control over things that happen to us – but we can control how we respond and how we frame it in our mind 🙂
My coping mechanisms for the current disaster in the US is to keep focused on my writing and resist the urge to doomscroll.
A great strategy.
It’s the only one available at this point!
The world does seem a mess. I don’t get it, but–on the subject of hope–I do see a few bright spots around the planet.
They’re always there, no matter how difficult finding them may feel. When there’s so much turmoil in the mind, everything else appears tainted, too. I suppose it’s about switching perspectives and realizing that there are two sides to everything.
Relayed to me decades ago, Damyanti, I recalled this brief story that changed my life. “Doubt and Sadness knocked on my door. I sent Faith to greet them, but no one was there.”
Oh, wow! It’s incredible how so few words can convey so much.
My old friend, I am sorry that you are going through such a time as this. Though we are miles apart, I feel your pain. Sorrow always brings darkness with it. Hope brings light. Faith grows weak when sorrow is around and love is something that is hard to feel when we are at a low point and surrounded by darkness and sorrow. My advice to you to keep listening to the little bird who sings every day. Grasp the rope of faith and tie a knot in its end. Cling to it no matter how tight that rope is stretched. Remind your self every day that joy comes in the morning or in this case mourning and light has returned. I will say set aside your writing about joy but write instead about your sorrow. Forcing joy onto a page is useless. Readers will see it as false when they want to believe the story is real. Cry as much as you need too even its while the bird is singing. Tears can wash away the sorrow of darkness. Just as the sun rises in the morning, this season of darkness will pass and light will return. If you believe in Christ, then I will tell you to ask him every day to get through it and give you rest every night. If your faith gets to weak, then ask him to strengthen it and when you need to, ask him to light your candle of hope and keep pushing yourself tot he end of the dark tunnel you are in. You can also ask others to intercede and say prayers for you, if you have no strength to pray yourself.
We all go through seasons of darkness and I believe creative people feel its heaviness more than others. Bear in mind that this too shall pass and as Julian of Norwich declared, “All will be well. All will be well. All manner of things shall be well.”
I’m so, so grateful for your kindness. Your words belong in a book of hope, something to bring comfort to those who don’t know what to do with their sadness; who feel like false joy and buried grief are the only possible ways to move on with their lives; who suppress their tears for fear of judgement; who feel guilty for not being happy. Sorrow is not an emotion we should be ashamed of, despite the many times I’ve unwittingly told myself otherwise. Just as you said, we all go through seasons of darkness. And when the uncomfortable feelings fade, the sun seems to shine so much brighter.
Abraham Lincoln, a man who certainly knew dark times, once recounted this parable: “It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: “And this, too, shall pass away.”
A timeless saying, and one which resonates throughout every phase in life. Thank you!